I'm pleased to finally be divorced from Ron, and have even changed my name since I don't want to be associated with him and his pathetic porn fantasies. Actually I'd rather forget that he even exists.
Every time he says he's doing better and will be able to work once he finds a job, he's just lying to himself and everyone else. He tells me he know longer thinks about Julie Simone; after 4 years of being obsessed and in love with her, he's just going to suddenly forget her? I don't think so. He still posts in her journal, whether its about politics or about his favorite nude pictures. He's really into tied up women wearing ripped clothes that expose everything and are suspended from ceilings. That in itself is enough to make him a pervert, but he also likes to choke women and pull their hair during sex. In fact, he really isn't even into the sex part as much as he wants to dominate women.
He's such a looser that I don't expect anything to change. He never learns. He makes the same mistakes over and over. How many times can you get fired from a job for doing the same thing each time? He'll wait until he has the TIAA-CREF money, which will probably be another month. Then its going to be December, and not a good time to look for a job, so he'll waste another month doing nothing. Then, when he gets his half of the retirement money he plans to withdraw it, and after penalties and taxes, he'll have only $4000 left. Then he plans to find a place to live in this area and then start looking for a job. Yup, that's certainly the way to do things. I wonder if he has thought about what he's going to do if he doesn't find a job or can't keep it. Looks like he may be a permanent resident at his parent's house.
He won't find a job, or if he does, he'll be fired after 3 months, just like the last 5 jobs. One thing I can be certain of is that he'll never pay me any alimony (he's already 4 months behind) and he'll never cover Stephie's medical expenses like he is obligated to do.
He'll never amount to anything.
- Location:My Place, not his
- Mood:
content - Music:Anything that doesn't remind me of him.
After that he completely changed. He was distant and wanted nothing to do with me. Later I found out that he was having some sort of emotional affair with some woman in his office. I can't understand his taste; it was an unattrictive asian woman. That went on for 3 years, and only ended when she left the company. Soon after that soon after that, Ron discovered Julie Simone, a slut bondage and fetish model. He fell in love with her and gave up his home and family for her. Unfortunately she doesn't give a damn about her.
This is an example of the sort of thing he wrote about her:
________________________________________
Nov. 15th, 2007 08:39 pm (local)
Julie Simone!
Excellent shots of Miss Simone! Wouldn't expect anything less.
I really like the two with the copper corset. I had no idea she's brought it with her... hmmm. ;)
I like the first of the three mirror/sweater pictures, although the red dot in the mirror images bugs me. It looks like part of the lamp on the table in the corner to Julie's left in the picture. I'm sure I'm the only one on the planet who'd notice that though.
The second one, "squatting with sweater, mirror" -- okay, I suspect that isn't the name -- is my fav of those three.
In the next set, with a pair of "Julie, nearly nude, one bed with pillows" I like the first one best, I think. The reason? Well, it's the quite nice display of, um, the shoes. Yeah, it's the shoes.
Moving on, I really like that red latex bra. The color, translucency, the fit, it all works well in integrating and contrasting her skin tone and body shape. (In other words it's a hot pic!)
As for the blue latex pants, it seems like it's the wrong color blue to me for some reason. I'm not quite sure why. I'd almost say "drop the pants" I know what you're thinking, but my motives are purely for artistic merit. Ummm... yeah. But seriously to me the top all by itself gives a whole different tone than the top and bottom.
Then back to that copper corset. I like those. I like 'em a lot. Good shots.
In the whole set, lots of good Julie Simone pictures...I'm jealous!
________________________________________
This is the typical kind of crap he writes about her. I'm sick to death of it. All I can say is how did a successful astrophysist reach such a low point.
- Mood:Disgusted
- Music:When a fool loves a loser
If we can't do that, then we'll go to court. I don't think he understands how screwed he'll be if he goes to court. All of the stuff his done for the last four years and his obsession with Julie Simone will come out. My attorney says that if we go to court, once the judge sees that stuff, he'll screw Ron over so bad that he'll never get out of the hole he's dug.
Plus, if we go to court, Julie Simone will be subpoenad to testify about all his e-mails and that sort of crap. She'll have to use her real name, and since court records are public, anyone who searches will find this. She may not feel quite so friendly toward Ron after this.
I'm sure all his user names that he's used over the years will make it clear how obsessed he is: JulieSimoneFan, Erebus (gives you an idea how he thinks of himself), and of course his all time favorite, Anteriorlobe. I have to admit I'm so fucking sick of seeing that stupid dinosaur head I could scream.
Ron thinks hes so fucking artistic, but the thing is, everything he tries he's just mediocre at. First it was rendering, and that was mediocre and didn't get any attention. Then it was photography. He thinks he's Mr. Hot Shot photographer because his pictures of Julie Simone got so much attention. They weren't anything special, people are just going to pay attention to porn. Actually a lot of the pictures he took of her were ugly. He did all this photo manipulation to make color pictures black and white, and they were just ugly. Both he and Julie Simone seem to think that taking pictures in black and white makes them artsy. Julie Simone tilts all of her pictures, so I assume she must think thats very artistic. All it reminds me of is Batman, when they'd tilt the pictures of the bad guys.
Her paintings are unbelievable. I'm sure she thinks they are amazingly artistic, but there just plain ugly. And her writing is pathetic. Trite and full of grammatical mistakes.
But this is the woman that Ron wants. He can never have her, but it was worth it to him to dump his family for her.
Ron says he's always felt something in common with her. He thinks its some deep connection. I think it comes down to they are both pretentious losers.
I hate him for everything he did, but I realize I'm lucky to get away from him now. Unfortunately there will always be problems. Ron doesn't want to bother to work. I wish he could find a job critiquing porn films. I'm sure he'd manage to keep that job.
It's sad that things have gotten to this point. I don't love Ron, I don't care about him, and I don't want him to ever be a part of my life again. Unfortunately he felt that way 10 years ago and just treated me like shit.
- Location:VA
- Mood: indifferent
I talked to Sally this morning, and I felt a lot better after that. She told me all he did was talk about Stephie and me, and that it was clear that he loved us both. I guess I feel better knowing that there was a time that he really loved me. I think he did until he had to leave astrophysics, and then he was unhappy and had to blame someone.
- Location:VA
- Mood:
melancholy
I loved being part of a family. I loved my husband and I loved my daughter, and things felt complete. Sadly, Ron didn't feel that way. Leaving astrophysics was more that he could cope with. Of course he blamed me for having to leave, when the truth was the job wasn't working out and he couldn't cut it. But he blamed me and became a different person overnight. He sulked about leaving physics, constantly accused me of not liking physics when I put him through graduate school.
He couldn't adjust to not doing astronomy because, "he wanted to be a scientist since he was a little boy." He never dealt with it, he just sulked and whined.
As soon as he started his new job he was unhappy because it wasn't important like astrophysics, and he wasn't creatively satisfied.
When he started his new job, he also started up a relationship with a woman at work that lasted 3 years. It was so blatant that others at work noticed. Ron calls it just flirting, but from what I've found out, it was the equivalent of cybersex without the computer.
Ron had a relationship with this woman for 2 years, and then he had a brain tumor. All he could talk about was how nice it was that she visited him in the hospital. I stayed with him day and night for the 10 days he was in the hospital. When he came home I had to do everything for him; bathe him, shave him, put fresh bandages on his wounds, Take him to the bathroom at night at least 15 to 20 times before he went on medicine for that, and a million other things. Ron actually cried and said he never could have survived that without me, and told me how much he loved me, and how happy he was that he had a family that loved him. After 3 months Ron was able to go back to work, where he resumed his affair. It just makes me wonder whether he just says those things or means them at the time, but being a sex addict just can't stop the crap he does.
The last 4 years have been beyond painful. They've left me feeling that everything I believed in was false, and wondering if Ron ever really loved me. I'm hoping the divorce will go through easily. I don't want it to drag on and be constant stress. I just want it over with and I want to get on with my life.
- Location:VA
- Mood: lonely
For the last week I've been severely depressed. Yesterday was the worst. I didn't think I would survive. I haven't been sure what the problem was, but now I think it was that I cut down on my Depakote since finding out that the extra amount was causing my nausea. I'm now back to my regular amount, and feeling better.
Ron called tonight a little after midnight. He was feeling sick and was extremely depressed. I think he's finally realized what he's done, and doesn't know how to get out of the position he's in. He needs help and he refuses to get therapy. I think I will e-mail his parents to let them know how bad the situation is.
- Location:Virginia
- Mood: lonely
- Music:None
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